All that glitters is classroom gold, as they say. Teachers know that the best way to jazz up any classroom activity is to add some sparkle. After all, what parent doesn't like to spend his or her evening shaking the glitter out of the bottom of a child's backpack on the day that all those zazzy art projects are sent home?
You can tell how long someone has been teaching by the amount of glitter on his or her person. Here's a scale to help you out:
A few glitter flecks on the face = probably a first year teacher.
Glitter in the hair and/or under the fingernails = has been teaching for a few years; starting to understand the importance of making classroom projects sparkle.
Walks around in a cloud of glitter akin to Pigpen's cloud of dust = master teacher.
You can also tell how long someone has been teaching by the level of glitter detail on class projects. See the scale below.
Glitter and glue are strewn about the page willy-nilly, as if the kids had actually done the whole project themselves = first year teacher.
Glitter details are done by the student, but the professional-looking loops, swirls, and dots indicate that a teacher administered the Elmer's = has been teaching for a few years; starting to understand the importance of making classroom projects sparkle.
The student's name is carefully written in glue in calligraphy and then dusted with just the right amount of glitter in the student's favorite color = master teacher.
Want to know how dedicated a teacher is to using glitter? Just look at the teacher's glitter supply.
One bottle each of red and green glitter = only uses the holiest of school supplies for holiday projects.
Bottles of glitter in every color of the rainbow are neatly lined up, in rainbow order, on the closet shelf = appropriate devotion to glitter usage.
Neat arrangement of glitter bottles spanning the rainbow, plus three or more bottles of all the colors mixed together (a sign that no flake of glitter is ever, ever wasted) = master teacher.
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